I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Boobs are out for the taking
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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