i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize