OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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