if i can run in heels then i can drive
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
