you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
