I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
