Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
