WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
