Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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