i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
