quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize