I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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