dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
