Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
