10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
