Your mouth is God's brothel.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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