She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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