I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize