im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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