I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We got so high we made milksteak
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
