No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
