my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
