I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
