Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i barfeds in our rink
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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