i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i've created a new STD.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize