dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
