I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
