My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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