so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
