Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
