dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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