he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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