omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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