I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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