Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
