i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
