check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
