i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
