I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize