so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
