Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
