so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
