Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize