I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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