I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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