Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
