just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
