I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
