The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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