I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
