i think my tv is drunk
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
