Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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