it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
