well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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