her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
