can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
