Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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