and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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