Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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