at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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