I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
