he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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