im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize