It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Boobs speak an international language.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
