she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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