Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sorry about my life...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
