Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
