I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She announced her abortion via fbk
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
