So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize