She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
