My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
