i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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