After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
