u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
